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Tuesday, November 3, 2015

The Seven Year Itch

It's been 7 years.
The first date on my blog is
October 20, 2008.

I figured I should reflect on the last seven years
in this fucked up fandom.
Although, to be fair...
It's really only the last 3 that have been kinda shitty.

A lot has changed over the course of those 7 years...

But at least I lived... and I learned.
More than most people can say.

When I first started writing this blog...
and tried to come up with a name
All I could think of was my overwhelming feelings
for all things Robert Pattinson
and Twilight.
Because yeah... it all started with Twilight
and it was intoxicating.

I began writing my thoughts and feelings down here...
in hopes of discovering WHY 
I was thinking and feeling the way that I was.
Because I honestly didn't get it.
I'm a writer.
It helps me to put my thoughts into words
and put them where I can read them.
I didn't understand the impact that Twilight
had over me.
I mean... 
They're fucking books for Gods sake.
But I was enthralled.
Especially with Edward.
Of course Edward.
And then along came Rob.
I mean...
Not only was he pretty to look at...
But he was
Smart and Charming
and Witty and Sweet
and sometimes he said the wrong thing

and sometimes his shirts weren't buttoned the right way
and sometimes his hair looked like it hadn't been
combed or washed in a very long time.

He wasn't polished or rehearsed...
He was open and honest...
I've never come across anyone like that.
yet completely humble to how good looking he was...
yet seemingly shy and awkward.
He had it all.
And I was completely captivated.
 I had never felt like this over 
any celebrity before.
(Except maybe Paul McCartney
but he's a fucking BEATLE)

So I took to writing down my thoughts.
It didn't help very much at first.
All I seemed to do is just be completely 
flummoxed over everything Rob did.


Everything mesmerized me.
What was so different about Rob
than any other actor?
I'm still not sure.
But after seven years I can tell you...
It's a combination of everything he is.
And He was just the right guy
at the right time.

I can also tell you that in 7 years
what I loved most about Rob
was that he was human.
I think that's another part of his charm.
He can be THAT guy
That handsome rich actor
but he owns that he's not perfect...
And I doubt he would want to be.
He's not a God.
He's not some golden Idol to be cherished and adulated.
He's just a guy.
Special? Yes.
Extraordinary? Most certainly.
But still just a guy who puts his pants 
on one leg at at time...
Maybe farts in bed
Burps at inopportune times
You know?
Like a regular kinda guy.
I like that.

What else have I learned in 7 years?

 That I adore Kristen Stewart.

I didn't really know her before Twilight
but I'm so glad she's on my radar now.
Big Fan.
BIG fucking fan.
There is something about her...
More than her beauty
More than her unapologetic way of living her life

More than how she is fucking magnetic...
Because she is.
I'm drawn to her
because she is so damn fascinating.

I can't wait to see what she says
what she will do next.

I'll admit that I loved Kristen and Rob together.
(Please note the past tense)
But I love them apart, too...
I thought their love was sweet and delightful.
I will always have a soft spot in my heart for them
and I will always smile at all the memories.
It was fun watching them fall in love
 around the enormous spotlight of Twilight...
It was fun seeing their relationship bloom and grow.
And while it was hard to see it come to an end...
You have no choice but to accept their choices.
but as Rob recently said in an interview...

"The truth is its not anyones fault
when a love story comes to an end.
What really matters is keeping good memories
but looking ahead.
I did it."

That's a wonderful way to look at it... Right?
Rob doesn't blame anyone...
That means KRISTEN.
Stop blaming Kristen...
Stop blaming Rob, too.
Shouldn't we all just look ahead?
He's moved on.
Kristen has moved on.
They are both where they want to be
and they both look perfectly happy being there.

 I spent a lot of the past 7 years 
writing about Rob and Kristen.
One name smoothly followed the other.
I also spent a lot of that time
defending Kristen from the 
frothing pack of hyenas.
I wish I could say that with the end
of "Robsten"
would be the end of the hyenas
but alas...
They haven't gone anywhere.
If anything they have become more
brazen and cruel.
They still foam and attack Kristen
every chance they get...
and they attack anyone
who they think is maligning their idol.
And even though I've never said a bad word
about Rob or his current girlfriend
They seem to be extra critical of 
what I have to say about Rob.


This picture was posted a week or so ago...

Silly me...
I tweeted my observation that...
and I quote:

Rob looks skinny... ��������
9:35am · 25 Oct 2015 · Twitter for iPad

That was ALL I said...
Because Rob DOES look skinny
(and he was supposed to be for his movie?)
And my sweet lord...
That simple observation set the foam in motion.
The hyenas circled and attacked...

1. I supposedly only noticed Rob was 'alive'
so that I could insult him by calling him skinny.
(Since when is skinny an insult?)

2. Somehow me not confronting racist fans was
thrown into the mix...
(Huh? Where did that come from?)

3. Apparently I also PRETEND to be a fan of Rob's
just so I can throw 'shade' at him.
(Why in the world would anyone pretend to be a fan?
What would be the motive?
And do you really need to be a fan to throw shade?)

4. My 'Nicsten' shipping is funny. And Nic's weight is perfect.
(I like Nic and it has nothing to do with Rob...
Why are they so threatened by him?)

5. I also supposedly insinuated that Rob being skinny
was because of who is engaged to...
(Never mentioned who he was engaged to..
in fact I rarely bring her up at all)

6. Once again, I evidently ignore blatant racism
and my 'world view' is fucked up.
(Is that the GO TO argument now?
Just throw racism into everything?
How does 'Rob is skinny' equate to racism?)

7. I'm also seemingly.. Jealous.
(Jealous of... What???)

8. I supposedly want Rob and Kristen
back together and spend all my 
days and nights pining for them.
(I'm glad they are no longer together..
so theres that.)

9.  I'm a 'granny'.
(Another lame attempt to be insulting.
I guess being a granny is a bad thing.
I actually hope to be one some day)

10.  Evidently if R/K were still together...
I wouldn't have said Rob was skinny.
(I'm pretty sure I still would have said
Rob is skinny... because he is!
No matter who he is with.)

And let's not forget that I was also called
stupid, uneducated, sad and a fucking bitch.

All of that
(and believe me there was much more
and much worse...)
because I tweeted...
"Rob is skinny"

It was a simple observation.
(and the truth)
That's all.
No mention of Kristen or Twigs or Nicholas.

Here's the deal.
I've never insulted Rob.
Or Twigs.
There are people out there
who truly don't like them...
and I suggest these people spend their well worn lunacy
on those who actually do try to hurt and insult him.
One of the reasons I rarely tweet about Rob anymore
is exactly this reason...
Idiots who swarm in and attack
over nothing.
It gets tedious.

I still like Rob.
Still go to his movies
(do you?)
Yeah, Maybe the whole intoxication level has lessened a bit...
and I'm glad.
That's a good thing.
It's been 7 years.
I would be worried if I remained the same
and didn't grow and change.
(But I will never change my blog name... hahaha)

Maybe I find Kristen's career more interesting right now.
So what?
Maybe tomorrow that won't be the case.
Big deal.
Is there some insane fringe quota that needs to be
met before you can be considered a real fan?
Have you asked yourself why you care??

One more thing.
Yeah... I've admitted that I was over-invested
in Rob and Kristen's relationship in the past.
And I was decidedly sad when all that shit happened
and two people were completely devastated.
But you know what?
I'm fucking over it.
That was 3 years ago...
And I let that shit go.

I don't care about either 
Rob or Kristen's relationships 
It's so much more fun not giving a shit
about those kinda things.
Way WAY more laughs.
If Rob wants to marry Twigs...
Then I hope he follows his heart.
(And to see HKN and company heads explode)

And although I think Nicholas Hoult is cute as fuck
and I think he and Kristen are adorable together...
I ship no one... I ship nothing.
The only ship I see is the one that has fucking sailed.
It's GONE.

Oh... and...
I know the fringe Pressed Sessed like to make out
like every thing wrong in the world 
is because of 

99% of Kristen Only fans don't give a shit about Rob or Twigs...
and most certainly do NOT want them back together
The Sessed fringe glom onto that 1% who live for the drama
of attacking someone for the sake of the reaction.
Those aren't real fans of anyone.
And they most definitely do not represent
the majority of Kristen's fans.
Just like bitter "Nonstens"
who can't let go of 2012
and act like frothing vile hyenas
don't represent all of Rob's fans.

This post is brought to you by rabid hyenas.

They have always been in this fandom...
and they are always surrounding
Rob and his relationships.
I feel sorry for anyone who falls in love with him.

And lets not forget...

I ADORE Tom Sturridge.
I love that face.
I miss that face.

Until next time.

Bye for now.